Thank you.

Gotta take the time of the section to thank all of my friends who was/were there, still here and will be there when I'm falling down.
They say everybody falls down every once in a while. How far is that true I know not.

There's one good thing about lecturers raising a point about what's your aim and motivation in life. Its good to steer a clear direction then point you the real thing you want to do.

But it is bad if it causes people depression when you think too much about what they say. And the words of,
" Why are you here ? " kills you. Its worse than the depressing songs from Black Sabbath and Ozzy Osbourne. Being a student, you go to class to grasp whatever information you have paid for because you trust this foundation before you. You trust the institution before you that they are giving you the right path.

So, you go in believing not doubting what they are saying and you try to relate it to your life. Now that somebody asked you the meaning and when you relate it back to life to remember it better, It goes to the cutting edge of, "why are you living?" That's what you get when you apply why are you here in life.

Its like asking, why are you still alive? So it kinda makes good sense if you're an optimist. Consider the fact that not everybody born in this world is a "la-la land" person. I think pessimists will definitely suicide by now.

Is this a strategy for sifting out the less optimistic individuals? Well, this occurs in everyday work life. Then it proves so true that many can die just by using this school of thought.

Education cuts right down to the point of making a good nation by developing good human capital. It means, sow the seeds of wisdom. I do not recall any point of the Malaysian education system saying,
" Eliminate the helpless "
Systems in the world are always to help the needy and the helpless. They were established that way yet every and each of them ends up in the conflict of interest where the established system do not meet its objective. The bankers had a good deal of example. Raise money for the needy. Loans are only approved to big pockets. Those who really need the money fail to retrieve it most of the time.

If THAT is a decided strategy to raise motivation in student levels in universities, I don't find it a BEST, one-for-all strategy.

So how did that strategy begin? The core of that type of motivational strategy is to find the extrinsic point of humanity. Working towards a goal or an outcome. Undoubtedly effective to the lores of motivation. I find it a major flaw.

We forget that the core to this extrinsic motivation strategy is the drive to CHASE something. Since the industrial revolution, we have been chasing advancements. I am not going to equate this to environmentalism, but this CHASE has brought us nowhere near what people want to achieve. All these thoughts of chasing things. All these is called motivation. But all these motivation are the ones that makes you think of what have you discovered in life. Yet, these motivation does not tell you the meaning to life. Imagine it.

Your motivation was to achieve a salary bracket. You've made it. But it doesn't mean anything after that. Its a very effective strategy if you view it as to how continuous it can get. But it makes things very redundant right at that moment when you have achieved it.
More importantly, this strategy of motivation states bluntly that the "Law of nature" applies. Survival of the fittest, only the best survives and the weak will die. This is not humanity. This is monstrosity.

How did I equate that? You see. The core states that, you aim something. Its a drive. So, no aim= weak= no drive= dies.

We, humanity, came out and excluded ourselves from the law of nature. We do not hunt and compete with animals for food. We had a better thought of improving lives. We made sure that we are not monstrosities who strive to live only for ONE THING WE AIMED FOR. Because, if possible we do not kill our brethren to avoid starvation.

More meaningful school of thoughts such as aiding those who deserve a living is established. We dispelled that law of nature by coming out of that pyramid long ago. But its odd how all we've done so far in the millennium is the same basic thing = CHASE.
So why are so many things that we have done so animalistic or sometimes cannibalistic?
Because this theory, established by psychologists are all based on animal tests. Its therefore very logical that every result that comes out of it, is animalistic. And humanity draw examples from that tests, using animal instinct to REASON behaviour and motivation. Now, we know why humanity has been a monstrosity for this millennium.
Every reason to behaviour has been established based on animals. So everybody acts like an animal.

Greed led to the Financial Crisis. Wars breakout because of the hunger for power back then.
Wars now breakout because HUMANITY has been a monstrosity to their brethren.

Anything that distracts this school of thought has been called a defect and segregated. Meaning of life. Leads to too many questions. This cannot be solved. Its a complex equation filled with too many variables and elements with too many undefined coefficients.

Yet, if you look at it, at a glance, keeping things simple, referring to all doctrines of faith, you'll see, that the right path that is one-for-all, with minimal, or no flaws at all perhaps, is to help others in life.
Many who need it. Many who can't live without a helping hand. Many who find life not worthwhile. Many, who do not have a meaning to life.
And life, is said to be meaningful only when you made it so.
I beg to differ and say,
that life is meaningful the moment you were born.

Cheers,
God bless.

End of another week?

One word. Hectic.
I totally need a vacation. Anywhere. And I mean ANYWHERE.
Well Friday rocks like every Friday thanks to a good friend of mine. ;)
Work here work there, work everywhere. I'm like darn it.

Oh yea. Market spoil here market spoil there and I'm like damn it~!! xP
Then its, question here question there like, " Hi, long time no see, why aren't you hooked up yet? "
or " Hey, got a new one yet? "
And I'm like. WHAT?
Geez. First of, I'm happy the way I am.
Second of, last thing I'll need is hooking up with somebody, where I can't feel the fun and basically you're together just cause everybody said so, or everybody thinks so, or just cause everybody is with somebody, you gotta be with somebody. WTH.

Its really funny but I don't want to bother asking them a question like, " Hey, would you mind just letting me know what you like so much about her? "
Chances are, what he says in front of the girl is totally different from what he says behind her back.
Last thing I'll need is pointing out the worthless.
Cause the best answer they'll get is, " Um.....I dunno. Shes just great and all. "
Yea. When things go bad, haha. I'd be silent and they'd do the talking.
Well, thats the whole load of fun in life eh?
Don't get me wrong, I'm so totally happy when I see my friends totally sucking up to their Romeo and Juliet (s).
Haha.

The idea of some1 perfect just thrills off my spines.
Probably need something that gives me a feeling that I'm flying like an aeroplane, no pressure, walk in the rain and not freak out, run like its a getaway and laugh for no reason, say all those things that you shouldn't say, isn't that cool?
Its perfect if Love's the only rule. No obligations, no pressure. Nothing. Just fun.

But I still enjoy livin life with some guys I'd go crazy with for no apparent reason. Need more crazy ppl in this world.
Its Fun+Fun+Fun.
Bottoms up for you guys man~!!

Live before you die

"Live before you die"
These four words are cool.
Its a perfect gift.
Had a lecturer who once asked me regarding society being educated beyond expectations ; kids being way more intelligent. [I personally think they are jealous though. xP]
So, she asked, " If you have done everything you should do at 20 when you're just 10, everything run short in a decade's time. So what do you do after that? "

" Well, I am not sure. Perhaps that particular generation will figure out something to do. Besides, they ARE, what we call the new generation and the future. It is already BEYOND EXPECTATIONS. It is not our discretion to decide what they do anyway. "

" But that's just CRAZY. ", she exclaimed.

But lecturer's will always be lecturers eh?
Live before we die. Never understood what it meant until recent.
Well, lets find something CRAZY to DO BEFORE TIME RUNS OUT!~!!! WTH.....~~!!~!! xP
Cheers~!

September

Crazy month where people get married like nobody's business.
So  you get to weddings, drink up and sing karaoke in significance of the new couple and celebrate happiness with them.
And there was this table of ladies who can really drink whiskey hardcore and I was like, WTH.
Then there was this guy who totally just overturned the whiskey bottle and stood in that position for 20 seconds as dared by others. And after that act, haha, the other guys wouldn't dare come near.

Life's been fine otherwise. Picking up some new songs and wondering how to go about it.
Thinking a whole lot more about life lately. Part of growing up? Though I don't feel like growing up at all. xP

And I had enough comments about people telling me I look like I came from the 80s yet act like I'm 5. x)
Now I know whats scaring the livin hell out of people.
Good way or a bad way I know not. But probably :
Its a terrible cross-over.

But yea, life's still great that way.
Had my phone malfunction for near a week or so and some probs with my computer as well. That was seriously a FLING and a TASTE of the 80s. Livin without your cell and stuff. Everybody's updated on something and it just cuts off LIKE THAT.
Took me awhile to get things back in order from there, reliance on technology is just seriously bad.
Gotta fall back manually for the back-up plan in case things turn out that way again.

If I ever have some problem with that, and get some public phone to ask someone out, that person's is probably going to ask me, " Whats up with you, calling me with the public phone, you travelled through time or what? "
But yea, it was fun having some of friends laughing hard at how helpless I am.
So much that I'm laughing at myself as well.

A sem break?

Was awesome. From jogging to running events to parties to pool to hanging out to the biggest portion of the pie chart, badminton.
Couldn't get my obsession of it. Lol.
My knee was aching and yet I was so eager to go for it despite warnings not to go. So naughty now am I?? xP

WAIT~!
What about fate and all the stories?

Went to a restaurant, met an old classmate, that I haven't seen since form 3. Well, I only share the class with him in Form 1, and then never saw him though he was around in Form 2 and 3 after that. Don't recall a farewell party for him back then, I could remember few people leaving around those first 3 years. Memories blur out before form 4. No idea why.

Anyways, he's there, much like a cashier, working with a computer system. Not studying any further after SPM. Wouldn't wanna ask why.
Somehow,  its a week that was filled with meeting up people that I hardly shared a class with and people I hardly talked with, except for short moments, being a prefect, chasing them off around, back to class and stuff like that.


Then I kinda met people again when I go off to pool.
And WOW, they're all working now. None of them going for further studies or anything. Rarely, I've met one guy, doing Diploma. Then there's this guy who kept changing jobs. Then these guys asking me if I recall those guys who do all kind of crap back in high school.
And I was like, " [Laughs] how am I to remember? "
Then they gave me names. And I kind of felt so ridiculed at times in life.
I only meet these guys for moments like, hey, what are you doing here? Up to mischief? Don't do stupid things.
That kinda situation.

Yea no doubt, I do hang out with them. It all kinda fits well for me right now.
I just feel so much easier to keep up and catch up with them.
They are definitely up for laughs and the world doesn't exist for how you can actually offend each other.
Everything that comes out today are probably forgotten tomorrow. Simple life eh?
They use a lot of vulgarity, which is probably one thing that affects my speech with them. So after I talked with them, when I went back to my pool table with friends, they couldn't recognise my speech. HAHA.
Could only get rid of it after 5 minutes. Then again wasn't really sure I wasn't cursing after that. xD

With them, there's one line that goes, " If I said anything that offended you, just shoot back. "
Its about getting to the point and not wasting time.
Its something that goes both ways, and honestly, maybe that's why I feel more at ease.
The moment I meet them, its an easy and natural smile from me.
Nicer than the ones you smile with a regular chick on the street, thats for certain.

What?

Girls around me so fake.....damn it.
Isn't there one with sincerity?
T.T
Gotta find her. Guys help me out~~~ T.T
Maybe I'm a dreamer but well, at least I believe in hope and change.
Besides, what do you got in life, if you ain't got love anyways?
Be it love from your family, friendship, or just random acts of kindness on the streets.
Sometimes its okay if you help someone on the street who's car's gone malfunctioned. But lately, there is much caution to take for there are so many scams and tricksters around these days.
What happen to life where everyone was sweet, open, simple and sincere huh??
[sighs]
Oh well, I still believe in humanity no matter what. =D
Cheers,
Signing off for now, that's 3 posts for a new blog.

Another

Its always an odd situation when you people ask you if you blog, say yes, then end up saying that blog is filled with rants and paradise of experiences with some girl you're in love with. Then say sorry that you can't share it.
SO, this is probably a more....censored version. If you think it's censored. xP

The trip to Sabah was fun~~!!
Probably need to upload some pics, [once I know how to upload it here, that is. xD]
So what's there besides going up for food, the beach and mountains?
Hehe, can't miss out hitching girls now can't I? xP

Just at the airport I was already hitching on girls.
First I saw a 10. Bet she was a supermodel with her other friend. They weren't wearing heels and they were like 6 feet plus. Near 7. Perfect body. Both of them wore sun glasses. I wore sunglasses too, jeans, tight shirt and a jacket to go with.
She was like, turns around, looks at me, stare and stopped there for like 5 seconds. I was like, starin back at her, in my mind saying, " watcha looking at? " xP
Then she turned and walked away with her friend.
But heck they were TALL xP.

Then came another while I was taking my lunch before the flight. Another with sunglasses, haha, hitting those  same style with me. [same fashion tells alot?? xP]
So, she wore a brown jacket instead of black. she's probably a 6 or a 7. not that tall. drinking my coffee, caught her lookin around, so I waved. I was replied with an awkward look, then a smile. =)

When I arrived at Sabah, I hitched on the girl next door. xD Literally, next chalet.
Hey, the foreigners are a lot more friendly than the locals. Wth right?? Its easy to talk to her. Though the accent was SOOOO heavy.
And they always LOOK older when they are actually YOUNGER.
Must be their diet and genes. So darn big sized.

Before I lift off, I hitched this memorable Hong Kee (Hong Kong) chick. HAHA. She came and sat next to me while I was dozing off on a waiting seat for the gates to open up for my flight.
Her voice was so LOUD. I woke up. Not really my fault this time huh??
She was on the phone. Speaking mandarin. Odd huh? So I asked her, your "pu tong hua" not bad. Singapore? She said, "I'm from Hong Kong, you??"
Beat around the bush, yadaa yadaa, crack some jokes, then she said, "you're so funny, *laughing*"
I just speak English and act like a total banana all the way, force her to speak her Hong Kong English whose got such weird Chinese accent. HAHAHAHA.
Then before I left off, just spoke to her in Cantonese and told her, your Hong Kong English was epic. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Loved that dazzled look. Swear she was gonna kill me if I sat longer. xP

When I got on a plane, all it takes is a smile to some girl on a nearby seat for a conversation. Haha, didn't let go the air stewardess either. xP. Its just chatting anyway,  not an offense right?

Besides that I'm just kind of happy, not cause I've got some girl's attention half-way or anything. At least I entertained someone's lives somewhere, sometime, and in that moment, and hey, life would be boring if I don't do stuff like that once in a while. xP
Also took the opportunity to help out some foreigners who just didn't know what to do at the air port. Lols, they travel with misinformation? Wow......
Oh yea, I hitched this Korean chick while I was climbing the canopy walk that's like 550 metres above the ground. HAHA.

The trip was good, did stupid things like that for fun. Haha. And the food was pretty awesome. I'm a bit simple with food, so I didn't complain much.

So long since I felt that way

Life's great when I can jog.
Its been quite a while since I can really run without thinking of assignments, tests, finals, subjects, a random girl in my life that doesn't matter in the end, o.0? wait!~! maybe I'll cut the last bit out. xD

Just came back from a vacation and I miss the streets where I run. Haven't been running on the streets for a long time. Can only afford to run in the gym at night after late classes back from uni. [sobz T.T]

Passed by a bus stop along the road back to my highschool.
Some high school chick looked at me~!!! xP
This time, I didn't even bothered to look if there was Jay Chow or Justin Bieber behind me.
She's too young anyway xD.
Sped up and thought,  " haha, girls from high school. They never change do they? "

Passed by my school's bus stop. Few Indian dudes on bikes wheeling around and around.
Thought to myself, haha, this trend didn't change either in my neighbourhood.
One lone Chinese guy that looked so unsure, sat alone and waited for transport for home.
Thought to myself, " Life's never certain eh? But dude, you look like you'll be fine. Score for exams, don't let your parents down. "





It was shocking when I ran further.
2 Indian girls took stones and threw it hard on the school badge rock art arrangement with the school's name's alphabets on it.
And I was like going to bellow at them, " Ui!~! Buat apa!~! Berhenti sekarang!~! Bagi nama. Pergi jumpa Puan Saras sekarang. (student affairs teacher) " xD
Then I thought, haha, I'm no longer a prefect nor the school's student, dunno what can I do about it anyway.

Besides, they're probably gonna ask me, why on earth is it your business and why should I listen to some stranger who's just running on the street who CLAIMS to be a prefect back then in highschool??
Whatever happened to them I wonder. I don't remember my year being so crazy about vandalism. Probably a few gang fights and solo fights cause of some high school chick, but, no there wasn't any damage to property.


[Drop]
[Drop Drop Drop]
I looked up. Liquid?? Droplets?? Looked up? Must be from the trees.

By the time I was in the main streets, it certainly wasn't my imagination or from the trees, it was from the skies. And it was the sunset!!! Gosh, never thought sunsets looked better when it drizzles.
My left knee started to ache and I wonder what happened. Probably my cartilage problem. Leg injuries are like a trademark since a competition back in Form 4.

Darn it!!! It does hurt a little. Enough to distract my running.
Ignored it, ran on, stop by a tree. Grabbed my knee and was like, damn it hurts. Motorists in cars that passed by looked at me.
That's when I saw the perfect sunset. Under the rain, with people looking at me, the perfect sunset, shade under a tree, injury on my knee and I smiled almost automatically.
The awkwardness.
It reminds me of high school days and how funny it was. I laughed and felt so much of myself running through me. I felt so much better.

Felt great, ran further with my left leg bent at 30 degrees. Haha. Limping, I know, but I went on.
Smiled, and hyped up to continue running. I'm finally enjoying it. Looked at the sky, with the water droplets falling from the sky, so beautiful.
A simple example of how life sucks, but if you believe and start sending out positive energy, cause everyone else around you have enough of negativity in their lives, things will be better.
So, if you ever came by a situation like when all is lost, believe, have faith, and smile, and you'll live on.
From that moment on, I smiled and waved at everyone who happened to look at me, all replied in warm smiles.
That's why I love my town. =)